As we grow older and wiser, grow up and look back I think we all wish we could give our younger selves some advice. ‘Don’t take it all so seriously’, ‘love yourself’, ‘enjoy every moment’.
I’ve never wished this more so than today when I found a diary from ten years ago.
‘I’m trying so hard to stay happy, but I look at my skin and I feel sick. I make myself feel sick.
Every time I dress I breathe in and think, one more day you have to get through. Don’t let it affect what you choose. And sometimes it doesn’t; but I’m aware the whole day that people can see.
That I’m not normal. That it’s horrible and disgusting and ugly.
I need this to go, please, please, take the itch at least. Let me sleep.
I force myself to do normal things, prove I can do it. Be strong. Always strong.
I tell myself it doesn’t affect anyone but me but I know it’s not true. If you could choose between a girl with beautiful, normal skin, or the ugliness I’ve got….it’s obvious.
So I don’t understand why anyone would like me, unless they haven’t seen it properly.
It’s disgusting, I’m disgusting. Please. Please. Take it away.
Or at least let me sleep.’
I can’t go back. I can’t give that girl advice, I can’t give her a hug, I can’t tell her she’s beautiful.
I can try and ensure even one other person never feels like that. So this National Psoriasis week, let’s get the word out there. Because awareness means progress, it means we don’t have to feel alone, it means we can give a younger version of us advice and support.
‘You are not alone.’
‘Millions of people understand.’
‘You. Are. Beautiful.’
Princess Psoria 