Day 9 of 14

Liver flush number 2

Today I couldn’t finish the smoothies because I felt full so I’ve gone into this liver flush on 2 apples and 2 pears.

Trying to drink the oil was harder than last time, I actually cried halfway through it….this seems a bit dramatic I know, it’s not like I burst into tears during a round of jaegerbombs at the prospect of the morning hangover…but the taste is truly vomit inducing.

Day 8 of 14

Over a week. One salt flush. One liver flush. Done.

Today I feel better. I did some exercise this morning. I have energy. And although I couldn’t finish my morning smoothie because I felt full (?!) I don’t feel hungry. I’m just very much looking forward to eating.

The skin on my face looks healthier and I feel really positive. Everyone thinks I’ve come out the other side of the rough few days I’ve had. In the back of my head the whole day I’m dreading the second liver flush that’s coming. Why the hell do I need to do another one when I’m just recovered from the first.

My psoriasis looks flatter for sure. My hands are completely flat, but still really red. It’s only been a week and I’m determined to keep going.

Day 7 of 14

Happy One Week

7 days

It has felt like a life time and the emotions a cleanse like this brings up took me completely by surprise. Any one thinking of doing a similar cleanse I would recommend spending just as long mentally focusing as all other prep put together.

Most importantly. One week in. How do I feel?
Proud. Exilarated. Exhausted.
Not in the slightest bit itchy. My psoriasis hasn’t cleared (yet) but I have fallen asleep not itchy, I haven’t woken in the night scratching, or in the morning with skin flayed by my own fair hands. That’s enough for me to carry on.

Bring on week 2…..

Day 5 of 14

I said day 4 was the liver flush day but in actual fact I would like to label day 5 as such. Day 5 is the day you have to deal with the effects of the night before. Just like a hangover, which is what my health coach keeps calling it. I know she’s right, this may be no worse than my absolute worst hangover, but I didn’t enjoy that either.

Nausea. All morning. 

I managed to shower and dress between waves of sickness. I managed to pass liver stones. I managed to keep most of the olive oil down. 

Most of the everyday things I have done today have been done whilst breathing through my mouth,  trying to keep down sick and fighting the urge to go and lie on the bathroom floor.

Exhaustion. All afternoon.

I don’t even have the energy to describe the normal things I struggled with or was unable to do. 

I love exercising and I think this is the hardest part for me. Not only can I not exercise but picking up my two year old niece means a 20 minute sit down after. 

Day 4 of 14

Liver flush day

I’m exhausted. I knew it would catch up with me eventually, the past 3 days have been too easy. But today was absolutely no fats, so I’ve only had 3 smoothies of pears and apples. I’m so tired.

I’m in bed with a castor oil pack cling filmed to me, I have 8oz of olive oil, grapefruit and lemon juice to drink. I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’m wondering why I’m doing this.

The speed at which my positive attitude has been knocked makes me feel slightly ashamed of myself. Apparently fats and exercise are key components to my mental well being.

Day 2 of 14

I have spent the second day of my cleanse enjoying the food; smoothies, raw soups and an amazing cocao tonic that got me through the afternoon. I feel positive, light but not empty, and my skin is flatter. 

The main thing that strikes me at the moment is how much more time you have in a day when making meals are taken out!

Day 1 of 14

14 days of smoothies, salt water and liver flushes….

This cleanse throws you in at the deep end, quite literally the salty deep end.

First drink of the day: 1.5 litres of water containing 2 serving spoons of celtic sea salt. Have you ever accidentally swallowed sea water?

It was 25 minute struggle between the urge to get it down as quickly as possible, and my gag reflex. For the next 3 hours the salt water left my body and I did not leave the bathroom.

I’ve probably left you thinking I am mad and the cleanse is crazy and dangerous. Please persevere.

Next I drank the Light Force wash which contains water, lemon, apple cider vinegar and mgm, we added raw honey so it didn’t feel like another uphill struggle so early in the day.

The rest of today has been good and the food, delicious.

Breakfast: Smoothie of berries, honey, cacao, coconut oil and water

Lunch: Pudding of chia seeds, almond milk, cinnamon and apple

Dinner: Raw soup of courgettes, garlic,

It’s 10 o’clock, i’ve just drunk magnesone water before bed. My head feels clear and I feel positive and happy. It may be my state of mind, it may be the first effects of flushing my body or it may be a coincidence….but my skin feels better; it’s not itching and it’s flat. I’m early to bed and actually looking forward to day 2.

Just One Of Many Small Humiliations

The older I get the more I feel at ease with how my skin looks. Around people I know it alllllllllmost doesn’t cross my mind. There are only a few occasions when I feel a tightening in my chest, a defensive pang or a wave of shame.

One such occasion occurred quite recently, and whilst usually I would try to forget it, bury it and move on…my best friend witnessed it and said ‘That’s one for the blog.’

I knew she was right, but I also knew I wouldn’t face it. That I would find other things to write about, more trivial things, humorous things; even things that appear from the outside to be more painful but don’t evoke the emotions I feel when I think of what happened.

We were at a festival. Wandering through fields, drinking, chatting, perusing the various tents and stalls for flowered headbands and feather eyelashes.

We entered one tent of hair accessories and beauty products. Behind the counter stood a woman with multicoloured dreadlocks, smiling and radiating an artistic warmth. As I went to pick up a pot of glitter I heard her exclaim ‘Oh my god! That’s some cut!’

The words were out of my mouth before my brain had registered them, the glitter pot back in it’s place, my left hand protectively covering the right. ‘Oh no, it’s psoriasis, it’s like eczema….!!’ She continued…’I used to be a hairdresser so I know; that style is beautiful, where did you have it done?!’

Cue flood of humiliation.

She had been referring to my hair. Trying to have a completely normal and very nice conversation, and I had made it all about my psoriasis.

My face burned with embarrassment. I don’t remember answering but I remember wanting to leave. I remember being annoyed for thinking that recently it had affected me less. Because then something like that happens and I know, it’s just there, bubbling below the surface.

I remember my friend saying ‘That’s one for the blog’, and then she chased me up about it a couple of weeks later.

My face is burning as I write this. I can taste the humiliation I felt I had brought upon myself.

And only now am I realising what I think my friend did in that moment. Sometimes it’s not what I do write on here that matters, but what I don’t.

Handsy

Today I caught myself doing something I haven’t done in a long time. I was paying for something and as I handed the coins over I twisted my arm around to hide the psoriasis on the top of my hand.

This is probably the least efficient and most uncomfortable way of handing money to someone.

It actually took me by surprise because although the flare up on my hand bothers me, I didn’t realise just how much. And that not so simple gesture made me think, I’m keeping the worry in and that’s not going to help.

So here it is. Get it out there and then deal with it. Share share share.

Gut Health

I’m a consistent researcher into new treatments and remedies for psoriasis and over the years I have noticed more and more articles involving ‘gut health’.

Everything, it seems, is linked to the gut. And the modern diet is not the gut’s best friend, in fact we have steadily been making it increasingly difficult for our guts to function correctly…leading to health problems…autoimmune disorders being an example.

So I decided to do some repair work, change my diet and see if it helped my psoriasis clear up.

I thought a good way to kick start this new way of life would be with a juice cleanse. 5 days, 5 juices a day, various supplements and enemas. I chose the ‘skin deep cleanse’ by juicerehab because everything is sent to you, juices, supps, information and support from a health coach.

I thought it would be difficult, but the juices were delicious and although it’s strange not chewing food for 5 days I felt incredible; and there’s something very liberating about not having to plan and make food for almost a week, I had so much more spare time.

I haven’t looked back.